The Rocky Horror Collection

A Transylvanian Christmas Party
[To the tune of "God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen" - A Christmas Carol]

A Transylvanian Christmas party...what a grand affair!
I got my invitation yesterday and I'll be there.
So will Brad and Janet 'cos they finally fixed that spare.
And we'll Time Warp till we can dance no more,
Collapse on the floor,
And we will Time Warp till we can dance no more!

A Transylvanian Christmas party...everybody come!
I understand Frank will unveil his new phenomenum.
He's blond and tanned like Rocky, but he's nowhere near as dumb.
And we'll Time Warp until we go insane,
Again and again,
And we will Time Warp until we go insane!

A Transylvanian Christmas party...bet I'll see you there!
Columbia will sing and dance as though she were on air.
I hope this time she doesn't trip and land up on the stair.
And we'll Time Warp with hands on hips all night,
Step to the right,
And we will Time Warp with hands on hips all night!

A Transylvanian Christmas party...who could ask for more?
I want to be the first one to arrive, so I'll be sure
That when I knock, it will be Riff who opens up the door.
And we'll Time Warp till madness takes its toll,
Can't keep control,
And we will Time Warp till madness takes its toll!

A Transylvanian Christmas party...what a sheer delight!
They tell me Frank has planned a brand new floor show for that night,
But this time, Rocky has been trained on how to get it right.
And we'll Time Warp until the life has gone,
We will rock on,
And we will Time Warp till all the life has gone!

A Transylvanian Christmas party...gonna have a ball!
Magenta, well-secluded in the darkness, will see all.
I hear that Eddie can't attend..he took a nasty fall.
And we'll Time Warp, so dig it if you can,
Muscle-man fan,
And we will Time Warp, so dig it if you can!



The Master's Plan
[To the tune of "Oh Dear, What Can The Matter Be?" a/k/a "Johnnie's So Long At The Fair"]

Oh dear, what can the matter be?
Frankie locked Eddie up in the laboratory.
He grabbed his scalpel and did a lobotomy.
Now, Eddie's got half a brain.

But Frank was a genius and he had a plan,
In just seven days, he could make him a man,
With muscles, blond hair and one hell of a tan.
His joy, Frank could hardly restrain.

But then, Frank's creation became his obsession
'Cos he was so good at relieving Frank's tension,
Until that night Rocky caught Janet's attention
And Frank went completely insane.

Oh, didn't they know you don't mess with the Master?
To do so can only mean instant disaster.
Frank's Medusa Ray will most certainly blast ya
And you'll never be quite the same.

But Riff and Magenta had cooked up a scheme,
A way to demolish both Frank and his dream.
Riff told him his lifestyle was far too extreme
And then gave Frank the chance to explain.

Frank started to sing, his emotions were soaring,
Tears stood in his eyes, but Magenta was yawning
And Riff seemed to find it all totally boring
When Frank told of sorrow and pain.

But Riff had decided that Frank had to pay.
The good times were over, much to Frank's dismay.
Riff aimed with his ray gun and blew Frank away,
As Magenta looked on with disdain.

Then Riff and Magenta returned to their planet.
They left behind Dr. Scott and that slut, Janet.
Oh yes, and Brad Majors, who only said "Dammit!"
As we sang this sad dark refrain.

Oh dear, what can the matter be?
We've lost the Master and we've lost our fantasy.
Will he return? Well, we'll just have to wait and see.
Till then, let's Time Warp again!



Rocky Horror Reprise

I am a Frankie fan, although he's not much of a man.
That is, at least, not by the light of day.
He's a creature of the night, so when the moon is big and bright,
I'll take you to his castle...if I may.

Perhaps Riff will get the door...he's Frank's handyman and more.
Though I will admit, he's not the friendly kind.
He will tell you time is fleeting, which may be his only greeting,
But he may just tell you how to flip your mind.

In a decorated hall, Transylvanians line the wall
As they listen to what's called a "Dark Refrain."
Leave inhibitions at the door and join them on the floor
And let us do the Time Warp once again!

Perched upon a jukebox, wearing gold top hat and blue socks,
Is Columbia, who taps for exercise.
She holds everyone's attention as she sings and makes a mention
Of the day she met the guy with "Devil's eyes."

To applause and many cheers, the Master then appears,
Clad in a cape and sparkling six-inch heels.
Though he wears a strange attire, devotion he'll inspire
As his character he very soon reveals.

Should we get an invitation to view Frank's latest creation,
We should "shift it" to the Lab and not waste time.
Remember, as we hurry, we don't want to be a worry
And to keep the Master waiting is a crime.

If the Master should decree and we're lucky, we shall see
The end result of Frankie's genius plan.
Not a weakling, that's for sure and Frank's tension, he will cure.
Namely...Rocky, and he is a muscle man.

Word of warning, if you please...stay away from the deep freeze.
To know what dwells within, you are not ready.
Though his brain is not quite whole, he loves to rock and roll,
That ex-delivery boy whose name is Eddie.

You'll discover that the plot will include a Doctor Scott.
He's Frank's enemy and you should hiss and boo!
He's out to get the Master and that would be a disaster
To all "Rocky" fans, for we are loyal and true!

If Frank's trust you would inspire, stay away from his desire.
To be caught with Rocky Horror's a mistake!
Frank can be quite an abuser when he uses his Medusa
And I guarantee with fear, he'll make you quake!

When Magenta has declared that, "Dinner is prepared!"
We should hasten to the table for a place.
We don't want to miss the fun for, after dinner's done,
A certain "slut" will get a slap right in the face!

From a seat in the back row, we can watch Frankie's floor show
And learn about a world that's tinted rose.
We can adore him from afar and acclaim him as a star.
He IS the Master...even with holes in his hose!

When Riff-Raff becomes the villain and sends Frank into oblivion,
Just remember, as he makes that final climb,
That his lifestyle was extreme, although he did fulfill his dream.
But then, it's never easy having a good time!

Riff tells us quietly to "Go," and we do so, 'cos we know
Come tomorrow, everything will be allright.
And, with great anticipation, we await the transformation
Which will turn us into creatures of the night.

Rocky Horror Lips

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